i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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