I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
