I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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