Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
