I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
