Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
