HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
