Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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