Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
