Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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