Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
