Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize