you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
