Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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