She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
