I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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