4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom said you looked used
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize