Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
