I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
