is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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