Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
too bad you live with your parents still
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
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I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
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My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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