Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize
