I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
