batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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