Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
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You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
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Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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