omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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