Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
