It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
