Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
