triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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