Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
