It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
