Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
