You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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