I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
