yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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