just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
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Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
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I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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