and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize