This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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