as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize