I wish i was in the wii world.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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