I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
