Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
vagina is talking i cant
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
