Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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