I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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