i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
