i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
