I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you inspire me to be a worse person
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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