i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
