No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
