Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
