ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
