im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
