fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
This baby is an asshole
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
