I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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