i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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